This past week I took delivery of my new wheelchair, which was quite the surprise. Having ordered in September from Cyclone Mobility I was given a lead time of 35 weeks… that’s 6 bloody months!! Good job I’ve still got the shit one I bought off eBay a couple of years ago. But 35 weeks became just 7, turns out the factory didn’t need quite so long. Yippee! It’s called a GTM Mustang and I ordered it in the same blue that Ford do the actual Mustang in! I’m very pleased with it and also the fact that at age 42 (almost) and having acquired significant disability I can finally say “I own a Mustang!” It’s sadly just not the Mustang I really want… even if it was significantly cheaper!

I now need to concentrate on learning how to be fully independent using it. Getting it, and myself, in and out of the car, transferring, navigating curbs and such. It’s a lot and, if I’m honest, it’s a little overwhelming. But there are lots of video resources on good old YouTube and I’ve started now while I can just about get myself back up off the floor because you and I both know I’m gonna end up stacking it at least once during this learning curve. Luckily I’m somewhat well padded these days, which should help cushion the fall… especially if I land on my ample arse.

Speaking of which, my arse and all other areas have become larger than they once were, simply because I’m not doing enough to burn any calories. I started some weight training which I was enjoying, but we’ve had to pack those away in anticipation of our move. I just seem to have lost my Mojo lately. Eating junk, and far too much of it at that, and I’m just not really enjoying any cardio. It just doesn’t feel right when I’m not using my fucking legs?! I’ve got my BeatsPill speaker, Spotify for a rather impressive collection of suitable tempo tunes and plenty of time so what’s the deal? Have I just got into my own head thinking “what’s the point?” I dunno.

I have recently spoken to a really helpful young lady who gave me some insight into changing my diet a little bit at a time, making it more manageable. So, for context, there are a bunch of MS diet advocates out there but most of it is “snake oil” and they are so massively restrictive I just know I won’t stick to it for more than a couple of days before throwing in the towel. No red meat, no dairy, no sugar, no processed foods… sounds fucking miserable to me! Like I haven’t had to give up enough because of this shitty condition. Plus every neurologist I’ve ever seen has said “changing your diet won’t help, there’s no evidence for that”. There’s a vast chasm between that and the extreme crazy ladies on Facebook/Insta that have “cured” themselves by only eating plant based foods and doing yoga 🙄 Christ on a bike, my eyes hurt from rolling them! BUT in reality I figure there’s got to be a happy medium and shedding a few pounds and improving my physical condition can only help. Let’s face it, I struggle enough to move around – hefting extra weight is surely only making it harder? Plus I’d probably feel a bit better about myself too. So I’ve started increasing my lean protein intake and cutting back on the crap. I don’t have a bathroom scale I can use so tracking is going to be difficult and that can be a great motivator. I can be a stubborn bitch about everything else, surely I should be able to apply the same to this? I dunno, food makes me happy, always has, difference is I was an active person before and burnt it off allowing me the privilege of eating whatever I wanted! But I’ve got to draw the line somewhere, I watch My 600lb Life and think to myself “how did you get to that size?” Like, how do you not notice? Is it a surprise that all of a sudden you’re huge and can’t get out of bed? I’m not even close to 200lb and already know I need to deal with it. Scary stuff.

So here goes. I’m not taking any foods off the table (no pun intended) I will still allow myself a takeaway at the weekend and stuff so it doesn’t feel like I’m on a “diet” but the rest of the time I’ve gotta get my shit together!