It’s one of “those subjects” isn’t it? But… we all do it, it’s natural blah blah fucking blah so let’s get into it…

For some it’s a necessary inconvenience, for others a nice relief and for some it’s the only 5 minutes of peace they get! Whichever one you are, pooping is one of those things that everyone HAS to do (let’s face it, life would get pretty uncomfortable, and messy, if we held onto it forever more, wouldn’t it?) like dying, it’s one of the few guarantees in life. What a delightful thought… 

With a neurological condition like MS things like your bladder and your bowels can just stop talking to your brain, like they’ve had some sort of pathetic falling out after years of being besties 🙄 this is what mine have done. Exactly what’s happened here. Like a bunch of bitchy teenage girls 🤦🏻‍♀️ So I’ll get no inkling that I need to “go” then all of a sudden it’s like “NOW! You need to get to the bathroom right this second!” And when you move like I do (think snail having just accidentally slithered through a pile of bastard salt) that’s no easy feat. So off I shuffle as fast as I can while clenching like like my bloody life depends on it, and trying my best NOT to fucking stack it onto the floor, get to the bathroom and take a seat, only for said bodily function to decide “well, actually, there’s no REAL rush is there?” So the inevitable wait ensues… will it decide to come out or not? How long will I be here? Concentrate! Another “for fucks sake!!” moment in my life, like there aren’t enough of those. Luckily (or not, maybe?) this only happens every 2-3 days for me, the days of daily elimination a distant memory tucked away for reminiscence like walking and showering stood up…

The NHS continence service tells you to drink more water and exercise. LOL! I drink 1.5l a day, any more than that and I’ll be wearing old lady piss pants all day every day. And exercise? Ok Karen, I’ll go for a run around the block shall I? 🤣 If any of you are thinking laxatives might be helpful, that is a disaster waiting to happen so I’ll pass thanks! 

There, taboo subject broached. Luckily the last time my bowel spoke to my brain was only yesterday evening so I’ve got a couple of days reprieve before “rushing” off to the loo again…