Yet another first this past week, jeez I can barely cope with all the excitement. First though, a little background…

We live in a new build house, built in 2022, which means it was subject to specific building regulations that stipulate certain things to allow accessibility for wheelchair users. For example, all internal doorways must be a minimum of 750mm wide.

Our house has that plus our front door complies by being “level access” and all light switches are lower level etc to allow reach from a seated position. That is unfortunately where it ends. The front door may be “level access” but in order to get to it you must step up a curb 🤦🏻‍♀️ and the back door is 150mm off ground level. Definitely not accessible.

Up until recently I’ve been able to, much like getting in the shower, lean my weight on one leg while manually lifting the other over the threshold of the back door. This past week or so that has, annoyingly, become impossible. It’s not for want of trying though, believe me! After a dog walk (for him, “wheel” for me) I started my journey indoors; lean to the left, hmm no that didn’t work, lean to the right… nope, can’t get my fucking balance and both legs now seem to suddenly weigh 50kg each! Now, I ain’t no skinny-Minnie and I know it, but this is a piss take! The dog at this point has gone past me and buggered off into the lounge, I can hear the little bastard snoring on the sofa. The weather has turned so it’s a bit chilly and the colder I get the stiffer my legs get, which in this situation – massively counter productive. So with a final “tut” (I’d done a lot of that during this particular 20 minute ordeal) and a loud sigh I admitted defeat. I turned around and sat backwards in the doorway with my feet hanging out. (Did I mention that my feet are so swollen I can’t get any shoes on? Another super attractive side-effect of having largely immobile legs. Ooh my husband is a lucky boy… So all this is barefoot.)

So from here I set about bum-shuffling backwards like I am walking on my bumcheeks – left cheek, right cheek, left cheek… it’s not quick (what is in my life these days?) until I can finally lift my feet over the threshold. Sitting on the floor for a few minutes I didn’t know whether I should be pleased to have made it indoors or despair at yet ANOTHER failure.

No point crying over spilt milk as the saying goes so I then set about getting to my knees, I manoeuvre myself to the dining table and haul myself up to my feet, drag myself around the table and sit my arse in a chair. Ahhh the relief. All in all it took me 35 minutes. THIRTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES to just get in the door. This is why I get fuck all done because everything takes an inordinate amount of bloody time. Having been “slow” for a couple of years now you’d think I’d be used to it but I’m really not! I hate it. I’ve always been a really productive person and now all I can manage in a day is to get washed and dressed, do some work, walk the dog and cook dinner?! That’s it!! Luckily if it’s raining dearest doggo doesn’t like to go out and even luckier we live in England where it rains A LOT. We’ve had a day off today, no walkies on account of heavy rain all day. Suppose our shitty weather does sometimes serve a purpose. And hey, I’ve developed a new mode of moving around – bum shuffling 🤷🏻‍♀️