This is a phrase that gets banded around a lot in the MS community but nobody tells you what it ACTUALLY means.

When I was diagnosed back in 2014 I was pretty fit, walked my dogs between 3-5 miles everyday, I gave up smoking and was generally very healthy with no other medical issues. So I thought I WAS fucking “using” it. Apparently not. What it actually means is train every muscle group you have like a fucking demon regardless of how well they work right now. Only no one articulates that to you. So when my mobility started declining back in 2021 I figured it was just natural course for my condition seeing as I was still walking my dogs everyday, I had a turbo trainer in the conservatory for cycling and was having weekly physio. I didn’t know any different and not one professional told me otherwise. Useful 😒

Seems this wasn’t enough though. It’s now 2024 and I can barely shuffle along using either two sticks or a walker/rollator. Every morning upon waking the fear of “will I be able to stand up” is crippling (pardon the pun) and it gets harder everyday to do so. What I really want is to get in the gym, a passion of mine for many years in my 20’s and again a short time after lockdown. I see umpteen “inspirational” videos of wheelchair users training in the gym every day thanks to Insta Reels but they just fill me with jealousy and resentment rather than spur me on.

I’ve joined an online fitness community and have started doing daily workouts but at home just isn’t the same, I don’t have the equipment I need nor the space and there is always that nagging voice at the back of my mind “what if it doesn’t work?” “This is probably a waste of time and precious energy” trying to throw me off but what choice do I have? To pay a PT on top of everything else is just not possible plus you know, I have a job a house and family to take care of- where do I find the time? So many of us find ourselves in similar, impossible situations. I am yet to find the answer, but will continue to try and find it…