Weston Beach Race was always one of the biggest race meets of the year, still is in fact. Hundreds of quads and solo’s racing on the beach, 85mph down the straight, dunes and jumps as high as a house. It was incredible. It was also the social event of the year, marking the end of the season. We’d always go as part of a huge group, commandeering a whole hotel so after the racing was finished the only goal was to glam up, go out and get shitfaced. It was always an amazing day/night.

More recently our participation has changed, being in a wheelchair or on sticks you don’t exactly feel like you fit in at a nightclub, can’t dance and generally feel like a spare dick in a porno. Useless. Still the day is still just as exciting and enjoyable and despite it taking place in October in the UK we’d always been super lucky with the weather! One year even getting sun burn!

Our last attendance however the weather wasn’t quite so kind, by fuck did it rain!! We’d parked the camper at a golf course about a mile away, I had my scooter so no worries there and from the moment we got up on race day it absolutely threw it down. There’s me pottering about wearing what is basically a clear fucking bin bag looking oh-so pretty. Not. Luckily I’d left the dogs with the boarder and we had my mum with us so I had some company while the husband did what he did best – helped everyone out. Aside from being piss-wet-through and resembling a drowned rat it was a good day! After the racing had finished me and my mum headed back to the camper to get dry and warm and ready to go out for a meal with friends that evening. So I park my scooter next to the camper and haul my fat ass off it leaning on the side of the van for stability but, you guessed it, the side of the van was running with water so…. Down I went, slow-mo style, sliding down the side until I’m fully on the floor in the wet and the dirt. Bollocks. Mums there feigning concern, offering to help me up whilst simultaneously trying not to piss her pants from laughing. Initially waving her off “I can do it!!” As is my usual phrase. Only I couldn’t do it, so I had to accept her empty offer of help, and she was still bloody laughing!